Mr. Overthinkundercomplish

Name a contradiction.

Name a flaw.

Criticize me as hard as you’d like.

Ive thought of it before.

Now that is genuinely how i feel but with those four lines down i realize how selfish and close minded that thought process really is. Who do i think i am? What qualifies me to write something like that with full confidence? A year or two ago i probably wouldve already shrugged that thought off in defensivness. But nowadays it feels like i have no choice but to sit with and confront these questions head on. Ive spent that time thinking and feeling as though i can think my way out of the mental and emotional holes ive found myself in. Futher, I really believed I was the one with the shovel in my hand digging these holes. With every bad decision, every mistake, I thought surely it was all directly correlated.

And maybe it is. Maybe at this point I spoke it into fruition. Overthinking turned from a bad habit to a character trait impacting the way i carry out my life. I’m looking up at my bedroom wall with easily around 50 post it notes of sayings and thoughts I put up in effort to pull myself out of those moments. “Progress over Perfection”, “Right now is the point”, “Deal with the problem where it presents itself”, all pretty good principles to live by and keep in mind. And all with the same root message. Stop thinking and do.

With that being said most of these notes have been on my wall for at least a year now. And in that year I can definitely argue ive taken baby steps towards embodying who I am rather than just theorizing. I just think its time to pick up the pace.

Theres so much going on in the world today. With every breaking news story another click of the handcuffs tightening, i deeply worry for the overwhelming refusal of people around me to acknowledge the cuffs.

Our sisters are crying, our brothers are yelling, our fathers are fighting and our mothers are still doing the best they can. Seems consistent with the history I was taught in class. I was numb to it all before i could see it play out in real life.

So here i am, Mr. Overthinkundercomplish. Taking a full step. I created this blog to document my progress, and create a bubble of the internet where I can express myself void of the pollution thats filled our feeds. Seeing how we’re already locked in our echochambers of algorithms and advertisments. I have no idea how secure this site is tbh or how long I’ll be able to keep it up and I’ll improve what i can when i can but the focus right now is just to document my journey taking this energy from creating a bunch of love songs to contributing to the world (my world) in a valuable way.